I've been distracted lately. Discontent and distracted. I have not spent enough time in the word. I haven't spent much time worshiping either. I haven't taken a lot of time to just sit before the Lord and ask him what he is saying.
It started with the Peer Support retreat (which WAS great!). But we missed out on the Movement that week. Hmm. Not cool. Anyways, the Friday before it was the beginning of a 21 day fast for the state of Minnesota. I decided on fasting all music in my free time or in cars, not from live music or worship though. I decided that I would put myself in a position where everything I listened to was the ESV audio Bible for 21 days. Only one problem. I've discovered that if you don't focus hard on listening, listening to scripture is next to absolutely worthless.
So there's one disconnect from heart to head. School has been alright, but to be honest, as of late, I just have wanted to get away as fast as possible after it's let out. Hence the discontentment. I even have found myself guilty of backing into parking spots in the morning, just so I can zoom away faster once the day is over. :/
In addition, I have been discontent in what I have. I have really wanted a banjo lately. I have really wanted to buy a floor tom lately. I have really wanted a certain pair of red Levi 511's. I really have wanted, wanted, wanted. Being a completely broke high school kid without a job, money doesn't come by easy.
And I still need to get that bumper fixed on my parent's Red Honda Accord.
So I recently applied for a job at Caribou. I might get the job. Until this point though, it was half for good reasons. I do need money to pay off some stuff and be able to have a social life, but I do not need another thing that will feed this discontentment I've been feeling.
Sometimes I write my thoughts out to release some stress. Is that weird? Ha.
So what does the Lord have to say about this?
Woah, time out. I'm listening to "Just A Little While Longer" by Cory Asbury's team, and all of this just hit me like a ton of bricks. They're singing:
It's just a little while longer till I see you,
It's just a little while longer till I know you,
It's just a little while longer till we'll be together...
The reality is this: the Lord is returning! Everything that I have now, and everything I don't have (that banjo, tom, red 511's) is going to burn. BURN. Get it? I don't want to be caught up in wanting the earth or anything thing in it. You know what the Lord says?
1 John 2:15-17
Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world—the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life—is not of the Father but is of the world. And the world is passing away, and the lust of it; but he who does the will of God abides forever.
Praise God for his grace that surpasses measure! Because look at where we'd be without it! Frankly, I hadn't even realized that what I was doing was so wrong until just now. But what a great God we serve!So holy, so humble, so righteous, so merciful.
In 1 John 2:17, it says that the world is passing away. That means that when Jesus returns, it's game over for the earth. Instead, we should put our hope in the word of the Lord, which is lasting forever (Isaiah 40:6-8)
In Matthew 6, the sermon on the mount, Jesus tells us to first to store up treasures in heaven (Matthew 6:19-20). Jesus tells us to not worry about tomorrow, for the Lord holds us in his hands (Matthew 6:25-34, sit on that one for awhile!).
Okay, so I could use that job at Caribou. But maybe for different reasons then I have been feeling lately. At any rate, this brain-splatter is all about wrapped up. No doubt I forgot something, but I'm only human.
And if you got this far, way to be! I'll hopefully be whipping some other stuff out soon as well. Blessings!
P.S. Thank goodness that faith follows fact, not feeling!
